Get ready for a shock -- I'm starting to think there's not much difference between men and women, other than the fact you almost never hear one man go up to another and say: "Wow! Those are really cute shoes!"
This occurred to me the other night when I attended one of the most manly, masculine, burly, brawny events any person of my gender can ever experience -- a Scotch & Cigar evening.
Technically, I personally was not invited. My buddy, Bob, was invited and he felt it would be OK for me to tag along. It wasn't a hard gathering to find, partly because it was just across the street from Bob's house, but mainly because of the huge, dense cloud hovering in the air.
This was not a cloud of cigar smoke; no, this was a massive cloud of testosterone, because we are talking about a manly event involving roughly 60 guys standing around in a manly manner in another man's backyard.
If you have never been to a Scotch & Cigar evening, it consists of two main activities: 1) Drinking Scotch; and 2) Smoking cigars. The only thing that would have made it register even higher on the manliness scale would have been if the host had left power tools scattered around the yard for the guys to fire up in between puffing and sipping.
nike shoesThere were approximately zero women at this evening, other than the host's daughter, who does not count under the rules because, as I mentioned already, she was someone's daughter.
Do not get me wrong here. We were not just a herd of insensitive brutes incapable of sharing our innermost feelings. For a group of guys, some of whom had just met, there was a lot of sharing going on.
"I would like to share my hope that the Blue Bombers do not suck this year," one guy told me and I sensed he was sincere.
"I hear what you are saying," I shared right back. "I sincerely hope you will stop blowing cigar smoke in my face."
As we stood around in manly clots, it occurred to many of us this was the sort of masculine gathering for which there was no obvious female equivalent.
But then I realized how wrong that was. Women routinely attend an event virtually identical to a Scotch & Cigar evening. As you have no doubt already guessed, I'm talking about baby showers.
There are only a few minor differences between the two gatherings, such as the fact that, technically, you rarely find a baby at a Scotch & Cigar evening.
At a baby shower, everyone thinks it's NFL jerseys either "adorable" or "cute" if the guest of honour -- traditionally this is a baby -- barfs in full view of the guests or has a diaper-related accident of some kind.
Had this happened at our Scotch & Cigar evening, it would easily have qualified as the highlight of the night. Another thing that happens at baby showers is all the women arrive with gifts for the baby, then watch in anticipation and squeal with delight as each gift is slowly unwrapped, silently praying no one will think the gift they selected wasn't as "adorable" as all the rest.
It's the same for guys. Every guy brought a bottle of Scotch, plopped it on the table, then looked on nervously as other guys lined up to sample the various whiskies. It was a very tense time. No guy wants to think other guys will think he is the sort of guy who is not capable of selecting a top-notch Scotch.
There is a clear etiquette at these events. At a baby shower, for instance, you pass around a baby and, with a great deal of cluc
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